I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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