I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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