You're a womanizer and a bitch.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
