All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
My cat gives me a boner
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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