Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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