No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
