If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
