I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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