Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
