This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
whose ass print is on the piano?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
