my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
