I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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