His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
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