I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
