Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
