But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
That accounts for only three of the penises
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Who died my cat blue again?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
