So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
