i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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