How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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