Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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