I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
