Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
