Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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