It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
