My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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