Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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