bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
