____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
