I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
