Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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