Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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