I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
