every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
