That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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