I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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