I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
