I cockslap morals
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
