i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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