We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
