can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
