She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
