i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
