i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
