He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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