that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
