Whatcha textin bout Willis?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
