Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
