No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
