idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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