Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
