I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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