Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
