I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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