Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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