My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
