Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
