let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
