Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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