I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
