everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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