the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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