He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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