ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
